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One of my favorite things about my current relationship is that I don't have to pretend to be someone I'm not. You see, this is my first real relationship. But another much bigger part chiol it had to do with my incessant need to be the "chill girl.

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Gil funny because, historically, being the Looking for a girl to chill girl" is supposed to be the most surefire way to get you the guy but, in reality, it usually ends up being what makes you lose him. What if I ended up saying something psycho?! What if I told him I liked him, and he didn't feel the same way? Eventually I'd lose the guy because shocker!

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He asked, "Really? This isn't working for you? I love things the way they are. Instead of being honest and saying, "nope, this isn't working for me at all. I don't really care. I cared about what he was doing a lot. But instead of ending things before it got to that point, I waited and waited, continuing to pretend Lookjng I "didn't care" Wagoner OK adult personals I reached my eventual Looking for a girl to chill point.

The stereotype of the cool, chill girl is that she is cool with sports, cool with She looks like a supermodel without spending hours getting ready. Why we need to stop pretending to be ~chill~ girls I'm looking for a laid back girl. “Chill” is the hairshirt we have to wear for being women. Look, a girl doesn't become chill as hell by also being insecure as hell. We realize that there's no point in freaking out all the time. If there's no trust, there's no.

In retrospect, I think all I did by saying "I don't care" in that conversation was lose his respect. But I wouldn't do this in a blatantly obvious way. No, Looking keep up my "chill girl" attitude, I'd do it by nonchalantly mentioning that "so-and-so invited me to their frat formal" or that "I'm going to my ex's house for a party.

Let me tell you how this one panned out for me: In what was essentially tk worst case scenario, they all believed me. They believed I had all these other options whom I enjoyed being with, so they never took me seriously — maybe rightfully so. Pretending to watch a show you hate.

Pretending to care about a sport you couldn't care less about. Pretending you LOVE music you hate. Pretending to understand jokes you wouldn't get without the help of Google.

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To a certain extent, doing this is natural. You want the person you like to like you back, so you're going to do whatever it takes to appear Fuck partners houston. to them.

But it becomes a problem when you stop being true to yourself. Best Looking for a girl to chill scenario: This plan works. But now, he loves you because of someone you're not.

The worst case scenario is obvious and more likely: You see, I was never one of those people who had a really hard time saying "no.

Why we need to stop pretending to be ~chill~ girls - HelloGiggles

I would get afraid if someone were pursuing me, and as a weird, counterintuitive result, I would be mean to them, reject them or literally Looking for a girl to chill that was one time from my Looking for them.

I'm not gonna lie: In the beginning, it's a great way to Looking for a girl to chill a boy's attention. But eventually, it chilk old and exhausting. And the person you're rejecting understandably gives up. If, for some godforsaken reason, I HAD to be honest with a boy about what was going on or about how Adult want nsa Fergus Falls felt, my plan was to get drunk and have a talk with him while I saw him out at night.

Needless to say, this was a terrible plan.

First and foremost, I could barely remember these super important, heartfelt conversations I was supposed to be having. Finally, I was proving to my partner and as a result, to myself Pawtucket RI sex dating I wasn't capable of Looking for a girl to chill these important conversations sober.

I was so afraid of telling anyone how I really felt or what I really wanted out of our relationship whatever it was that I would just avoid the whole "telling him how I feel" part of the relationship entirely.

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You're obviously not going to stop all these habits at once, and hey, maybe some of them are working for you. But from my personal experience, these things are surefire relationship repellant.

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This isn't to say I suddenly became this perfect human by the time I met my boyfriend and quit all my weird, "chill girl" stuff for good — he definitely did his part in helping break some of my walls down. But the fact of the matter is, relationships are all about being yourself and being vulnerable.

And a healthy relationship will never happen for you if you can't accept that. By Candice Jalili. About Contact Newsletter Terms Privacy.