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M ost people have a fear of disappointing others, but the trickiest situation of all in my opinion is when we disappoint ourselves. Disappointing yourself can make you question your ambitions, your self-worthand your abilities.

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It can make you feel both queasy and uneasy, like being stuck at the top of a roller coaster or eating that leftover sushi you definitely should have thrown out days ago. Or, maybe it's because we know we're the only ones who can free ourselves from the sinking feeling—and it's a daunting task.

Disappointing yourself can make you question your ambitions, your self-worth, and your abilities. The good news: The first step to getting over your self-shame is to simply accept what went wrong. If you need a good long cry, go for it.

Been there. Been there, too. If your cown came to you with the same issue—she was disappointed in herself for not having a stellar quarterly review, or bombing her open-mic night—what would you say to her? Treating yourself and your disappointment like a close friend can help ease the blame and help you exercise more self-compassion.

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Disappointment is directly tied to the expectations we place on ourselves. Sell the cookies!

Ask for the definition to that noun! Run until your lungs burn! Consider whether your expectations were aligned with how ready you felt for that moment. Hello, full weekends binge-watching Killing Eve. Instead, distract yourself by treating yourself to something different.

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Do something that stimulates your mind. There are so many lessons to learn from major and minor failures or little blips of disappointment.

The first major lesson? You know what not to do next time. When you've passed the "acceptance" stage, start to figure out where things went wrong by asking yourself the following questions:.

Digging in to these questions will expose any of the flaws in your plan. This oft-quoted statement might give you some comfort: Asking the right questions and understanding where your plans went off the rails is crucial to plotting your next big endeavor. Ah, yes, the most important lesson of all: The thing about being disappointed is that it reveals what diasppointed actually care about.

Disappointment can act like a radar system, pinpointing exactly where you are—and where you want to be. Read next: Kara Cutruzzula.

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May 16, M ost people have a fear of disappointing others, but the trickiest situation of all in my opinion is when we disappoint ourselves. You can do better. Recognize Your Big Expectations Disappointment is directly tied to the expectations we place on ourselves.

Ask Yourself the Right Questions There are so many lessons to learn from major and minor failures or little blips of disappointment. When you've passed the "acceptance" stage, start disappointev figure out where things went wrong by asking yourself the following questions: Kara Cutruzzula is a journalist and playwright and writes Brass Ring Daily, a daily motivational newsletter for people who want to tackle their biggest projects.

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