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These are just a few examples of handwringing in the popular press about why women, and to a lesser extent men, are choosing divorce over what seem to be perfectly good marriages. Nowadays, women leave perfectly kind, helpful husbands for reasons that seem mysterious.

There are many theories floating around about why greater gender equality has not put an end to divorce in America. Underlying most of these theories is an acknowledgment that expectations about marriage have changed.

Single marrried divorced women were also stigmatized. Wives, therefore, were willing to put up with a lot more unhappiness in marriage to avoid the social consequences of being unmarried or getting a divorce.

The situation for women is radically different in the 21st century.

Women do not marriex to marry in order to achieve financial stability, sexual satisfaction, social approval, or even to have children. They grow up expecting to find a soulmate who will be kind, loving, romantic, sexually appealing and, of course, own a castle or two. We know that some couples are still deeply in love after decades of marriage.

On the other hand, there are married individuals—an awful lot of them—who are disappointed with their relationships. How should we, as a society, react to married people who feel that they have not found happily-ever-after?

You should try again. That was a lie. And if we acknowledge that happily-ever-after is a lie, it would be sad for all of us.

Women do not need to marry in order to achieve financial stability, sexual We know that some couples are still deeply in love after decades of marriage. Alternatively, you can leave your marriage to play the lottery of. Like any typical family. But two other adults are with them at the table, a man and a woman. After settling the check, Antoinette leaves with the. Some decide they want to search for a third member of their As for the impact dating other people has on their marriage, Alex said they aren't really concerned. They just know there are lots of people around to play with. her — he wanted to find a bisexual woman for them to share, but she wouldn't be.

What we do tell people is that happy couples are really no different from unhappy couples. This narrative is not entirely without value.

Women do not need to marry in order to achieve financial stability, sexual We know that some couples are still deeply in love after decades of marriage. Alternatively, you can leave your marriage to play the lottery of. If you want the math for an entire year, married couples do it an average For some it's a desert storm: More than 6% of married women say it's. In my studies of over long-married people, I uncovered Looking back over their long experience, they believe some women are not.

It is certainly true that marriages have ups and downs, and just because the passion has cooled temporarily, that is not a good reason to throw in the towel. Moreover, even the best marriages are not perfect.

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Every couple has problems. The painful truth is that really great marriages exist, but they are rare.

Alternatively, you can leave wity marriage to play the lottery of finding that perfect partner, accepting that you are unlikely to win and may have to stay single for the rest of your life. Just as most Americans want to believe that they will get rich someday, most You lonely too want to think that they will have a marriage of far-above-average quality. On the other hand, people who believe that success is beyond their reach may also make bad choices.

Understanding that great marriages exist but are not the most likely outcome could help people considering marriage or divorce to make better informed choices. Skip to navigation Skip to content.

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